CELEBRATING LESSONS LEARNED: 20 YEARS IN THE MAKING
As I have shared my missionary experiences, over the years I have had people tell me that I should write a book. If I did it would certainly be a humorous one. Not that I think serving the Lord is funny. I just know first-hand that it can be rather amusing to take someone away from everything they know and plop them into a place they are completely unfamiliar with! But besides the funny stories, I would write about how I have changed, and important lessons learned. And I would dedicate it to my four grandparents, whose frequent prayers paved the way for me to end up where I am today.
On this, my 20th anniversary in Brazil, I don’t have time to write a book. But I would like to share a couple of things I have learned to commemorate this day. Perhaps it will become the start of a couple of chapters in a book one day. Like the last 20 years, only the Lord knows.
Lesson #1: The depth of my faith in the Lord is equally measurable to my ability to trust Him. Because trust is the foundation and the starting place of faith. Before coming to the mission field, I had no need to trust in God. In fact, I put my trust in myself and my parents. If I couldn’t figure out how to solve a problem, Mom and Dad were always there. It wasn’t as though I didn’t dedicate time to the Lord and for serving Him. I did my daily devotions; I was active in my church and even my job was a ministry position. But I now recognize that my faith was shallow because I didn’t depend on God for anything. Life in Brazil changed that. When I arrived, all I had was God. I didn’t even have myself because I had no clue how to exist in this place and couldn’t speak the language. However, in the last 20 years I have learned to trust in the Lord even when I can figure things out myself. I experience that “peace that passeth all understanding.” And my faith is much deeper and richer because of it. Of course, at times I slip up. But even then, I always come back to the Lord because I know He has what I need.
Lesson #2: At the very core of love, is sacrifice. At the start of 2009 I was feeling extremely alone. While I felt fulfilled ministerially, I remember telling the Lord that I only had about one more year left to give as a missionary before the loneliness would be too much for me to bear. Enter an average height, dark and handsome man into my life! And that smile! Paulo Andre Requia melted my heart. Except there was one problem – HE WAS MY STUDENT! Oh, the scandal! But we were in love, and the Lord blessed our coming together through the Seminary director and our pastors. Before this, I had thought being a single missionary was a sacrifice, but now I was confronted with the reality that the greater sacrifice was getting married. Was I truly ready to give up my future for our future? Was I willing to spend the rest of my life in Brazil, far away from my family and culture? I loved my independence, but did I love Paulo Requia more? Well, I think we all know the answer to these questions! Marrying Paulo was about loving him, but it also became about loving Brazilians and accepting love from them. To love, we must start giving ourselves away, pieces at a time. And loving Jesus, means giving up my whole self to him.
Lesson #3: You never heal from the wound grief leaves on your heart. Many people have experience much more loss than I have, and I would never attempt to understand how deep their grief is. But I do know that grief leaves its mark on our hearts – a permanent scar. At times, the pain of my grief ebbs and flows like the waves in the ocean. At other times, it comes unexpectedly like a tidal wave and knocks me off my feet. But as Paulo said to me soon after losing my dad, “You will get through this. You will learn to live with the grief.” There are many moments I wish I could share with my dad, like today. He was even in Brazil for my first anniversary here. To be honest, I don’t want this pain to go away, because the more I feel the pain, the more it shows what my dad meant to me – what he still means to me. So, I cherish the scar on my heart because it represents the important place Dad had in my life.
I finish this reflection with a thankful heart to the Lord, to my family and friends, to my missionary partners who support me and the North American Baptist Conference, to my Brazilian church and the Seminary, and to my Paulo. Thank you for believing in me and the Lord’s calling on my life. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for accepting me and loving me. And thank you for teaching me by living out what you believe and speak. I am forever grateful for all that you’ve done in my life!
Lyndell (March 15, 2023)
